PETA PROTESTS LACK OF ORAL SEX:
"Animals Get Eaten More Than We Do," Say Nude Women
Whachington: (IP)
Wearing nothing but body paint and fake ears, angry women staged dozens of
protests around the nation today, crouching on busy sidewalks in tiny wire cages
after painting tiger stripes on their otherwise nude bodies. Shouting
slogans and arguments at passers-by, the women, members of People
for Eating Tasty Animals (PETA), were protesting what they call "the persistant
and invidious male failure to lick pussy, give head, or go muff diving."
The unprecedented display of
public nudity
was intended, according to PETA
spokes-woman Ima Hornay, to shock complacent men into reconsidering their
routine failure to deliver oral sex. "Nothing promotes discussion and dialogue
better than a naked woman in a cage," she said. "We believe that the shock value
of public nudity and the exposure of our bodies to public scrutiny is the
only way to convince men that we are deadly serious about this cause and that
we won't rest until we get the cunt licking we deserve."
Hornay explained that male excuses for not providing oral sex are, in her view,
inexcusably weak. "Men say we don't smell good, or we don't taste good.
But have you seen some of
the things men will eat? Men go hunting
all the time, and the smelly animals they drag back get eaten more than
we do! We are here to demand that they get over it, and get back to giving
us the oral pleasure we deserve. Our message is that women taste good!"
Other protesters were even more blunt. "My husband is always pushing my
head down toward his dick," complained Nita Fashel, "but he hasn't licked
my pussy since before we were married. That's unacceptable to me. I came out
here today to help spread the word in the only language men understand:
lots of beautiful tits and ass on public display in cages!"
However, many of the people who witnessed the protests appeared confused by
the caged animal imagery. "Why are all these hot babes painted to look like
tigers?" asked one otherwise enthusiastic young man. "I mean, is it a beastiality
thing? Or what? I don't get it, but I like it."
The confining wire cages also bewildered most observers. One young woman asked one of the
caged nude tiger women "Why are you putting yourself on display like a helpless pet in a
kennel? Are you trying to get men to collar you and leash you and teach you to
jump through hoops on command? Do you want to be kept in cages? Animals
are like slaves, is that the status you want for women?
Don't you think
the humiliation of such public nakedness will prevent men from taking you seriously?"
Most of the men witnessing the protest, however, seemed to be taking voyeuristic
pleasure pleasure in the event, rather than being persuaded of the points PETA
hoped to make. "If these babes think that getting naked,
painting themselves like Cat Woman, locking themselves in cages, and showing off
their yummy stuff on the street is gonna make me lick more cunt, they have another
think coming! If women weren't so damn stingy about sucking cock, they'd probably
get a lot more head themselves."
Police arrested two ambitious young men who attempted to lift an
occupied cage into the back of their pickup truck.
"Since this tiger chick was
shouting about licking pussy, we thought we'd take her home and start with her,"
one of the men is reported to have told police.
There were no other arrests,
although several of the caged women complained
of being goosed through the bars and
one claimed she was attacked by a man wielding a large rubber tongue on a stick.
